When the Going Gets Tough, God Says Shoplift

Nothing says Merry Christmas like a nativity sermon extolling the virtues of pilfering over prostitution.  Which is exactly the sermon Father Jones of St. Lawrence church in York gave.  Appalled by the treatment of the poor and dejected by polite British society, Father Jones advised his congregation that “It is far better for people desperate [...]

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Afghan Women Get Police Training

Afghani women now have an opportunity to serve on the force.  The new Afghan National Police Women’s Police Corps Training Center opened December 5.  Its end goal of 650 women (yes, the U.S. has given Afghanistan freedom and quotas) is expected to be reached in two years.  The U.S. training officers have been very positive [...]

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Iran Plays Spy Card

In order to parody this topic in good conscience I must preface with this,  I really hope these guys don’t die.  Now then, the Iranian government has been holding three UC Berkeley hippies hostage since like July.  Initially it was because they were hiking in northern Iraq and accidentally crossed into Iran.  But now, Iran [...]

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L’Oreal to help with Polar Bears

Grizzly bears have started to move into Polar bear territory.  It’s speculated this is due to global warming.  The warmer temperatures allow the grizzlies to go farther north than ever before.  Scientists and ecologists and some other people, in an effort to help the polar bear population blend with their new inhabitants are getting aid [...]

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Obama’s Polls Hit Record Low

Fox News is reporting that Obama’s approval rating 47%  is the lowest of any President at this point.  But I still believe he is ready and able to go lower.

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DOD Keeps Santa Alive for Canada

Between the Russians scurrying to claim the north pole  and a crappy health care system the Department of Defense (DOD) and the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD)  have once again decided against telling Canada Santa doesn’t exist.   NORAD is the U.S-Canadian organization “charged with the missions of aerospace warning and aerospace control for [...]

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Shoeing the Homeless

Docs in Burlington VT are doing their part to help the homeless in the local area by giving them quality footwear.  Why shoes? Because “The mission of the national ‘Our Hearts to Your Soles’ program is to provide less fortunate people around the country with shoes and free foot exams with the belief that proper [...]

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Taxing the Warfighter to pay for the War the Warfighter is fighting…..

Levin wants to tax the rich to pay for the war in Afghanistan.  Why, because the  “rich are greedy SOB’s that do nothing but bleed the working man dry, also they bothered to do something productive with their lives by generating wealth for others and they should be punished,  the bastards.“   Let’s look at who [...]

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English the Ultimate Peacekeeper

Pulled this off Drudge.  The Chinese are saying their lack of proficiency in English is an obstacle to peacekeeping missions overseas.  Well duh.   And not just duh, but boohya as well.  I’ve been advocating making English the dominant global language for years (not really) mainly because I speak it,  fluently I might add, but also [...]

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Depressed Women Just Need More Sex

So this flibanserin drug was originally designed to stave off depression in women, but it didn’t in fact do that, instead it did something way better, it significantly increased female friskiness.  Which consequently reduced depression (my assumption, because how could it not, but it hasn’t as of yet been  proven in any study).  This unexpected [...]

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