Not Ready for Prime Time


If Obama’s just gonna read off of a big T.V. screen, why not skip to the chase and broadcast the T.V. screen? This solves a whole host of issues such as:

1. He doesn’t have to break a sweat pretending to care about America.
2. It’s less like lying if you read it.
3. Obama doesn’t have to miss his favorite T.V. shows to give some boring speech about dumb stuff he doesn’t really want to talk about any way.
4. Little kids can learn to read while getting brain washed.
5. Obama doesn’t have to answer any icky questions from the mean old press.
6. It will prepare the public for the future of mandatory, daily mind cleansings.
7. Put the speech to John Williams Star Wars theme song, moving the text from foreground to background, and people might be lulled in to reading it, hoping that Star Wars is gonna start any minute. But then you should probably play Star Wars immediately following so people don’t get pissed. That only works once.

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