New Space Undies Could Have Real World Application

The same people who gave us life threatening game shows and reliable cars have outdone themselves yet again.  It seems that stink does exist in space and the Japanese have come up with a way to combat it, non-stinky space unders that can be worn for up to seven days.  You read that correctly.  Here’s some of the article:

“The underwear has been developed by Japanese researchers in a bid to create clothing that reduces smell, absorbs sweat and provides insulation. Made of state-of-the-art odor-fighting fibers, they will need to reduce or eliminate smells normally associated with that area of the body for seven consecutive days. Traditionally, astronauts wear their clothing for three days before changing.”

A couple thoughts, the first is ew, but then my second thought is, hey wait a minute, this might prove to be really beneficial.  The homeless for example, they have kind of a woodsy outdoorsy body odor  smell, give them space undies, and space pants and shirts as well.  Also, college students backpacking through Europe, train, youth hostel, and pot smell, no problem, space undies.  They should package the undies in handy dispensable sized packages.  Which leads me to my next thought, space undie vending machines.  Not that being seen buying stink proof underwear won’t have it’s own host of stigmatizing problems associated with it, they could put the machines in public bathrooms next to tampon and condom dispensers.  Two items that practically scream, “if you’re the kind of slacker who doesn’t plan ahead for either of these two eventualities,  then underwear changing probably isn’t a priority either, so  do us all a favor and buy the space undies.”

I can see the real world applications for this kind of fabric, and I am really hoping the astronauts testing the unders will be successful in not smelling after seven days.  This anti-stink fabric will be a real boon for the fashion industry and the population at large.  We all win with this one.

But as it turns out, not everyone is thrilled with the prospect of a stink free planet.  Advocacy groups such as  The Coalition of Reeking American People, or CRAP, have already lodged formal complaints with the International Ladies Garment Workers Union stating that they will boycott any product produced by their union if it’s made from stink proof fabric.  CRAP is also launching an add campaign similar to PETA’s  “I’d rather go naked than wear fur,” in which naked CRAP members are holding strategically placed signs that read, “Support our right to reek, and we’ll put our clothes back on,”  and “Now we’re stinky AND naked.” But even with the letters and future media campaign the group still hasn’t received a lot of press.  Not suprising since the majority of the members are living in rural New Hampshire on the Women’s Alternate-lifestyle Knitting Compound Co-Opt or WACCO.


2 thoughts on “New Space Undies Could Have Real World Application

  1. I don’t hate the homeless, not giving them state-of-the-art underwear is hateful. So it’s you, in fact, who hate the homeless!

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