Duck Love No More

This made me laugh and then made me think, but mostly laugh…

Minnesota’s breeding duck population declined 31 percent from last year – falling to an estimated 507,000 birds – and state officials aren’t sure why”

It’s because the ducks aren’t gettin’ it on anymore.  That’s the obvious answer.  But officials can’t understand why, since they dumped a butt load of money into making everything “perfect” for the ducks to get busy.

“We are committed to hitting the 1 million-bird target,” Dennis Simon, DNR wildlife chief, said in a news release. “That means focusing on a long-term strategy to improve the quantity and quality of wetlands and grassland through the combined efforts of many partners.”

They’ve developed a strategy for duck sex, something that if left completely alone would be happening for free, they’ve invested money into.  Where’s the Duck Love Bailout Bill?  But for all that money the ducks still don’t like doing it in Minnesota.

Steve Cordts, Department of Natural Resources waterfowl specialist said excellent water conditions in the Dakotas could have drawn migrating ducks there, instead of Minnesota.

I had no idea ducks were this complex.  I just assumed that ducks, like all other animals on the planet including some people, had relations where ever they happened to be at the time they felt like getting frisky.  Never, not once, did it occur to my fragile little mind that ducks might require the perfect combination of water, grass, weather, and Barry White to make babies.  I wonder if Minnesota’s DNR can invoice North and South Dakota for their duck loss?  A kind of, “hey we spent all this money making sweet sweet duck love happen and you guys now have all the ducky love chicks that resulted..  give them back or pay us,” invoice.


5 thoughts on “Duck Love No More

  1. As long as the Loon was the state bird and there were no real competitors in the “rhyming-words” category, ducks could spoon by the light of the moon. But, enter the “buffoon” as senator and the ducks beat feat, albeit webbed feet. Nothing really rhymes in South Dakota, so I guess it’s a far, far better place they go, than they have ever been.

  2. Heck, I grew up there and I never knew that all this duck sex was going on in South Dakota. Clearly, we are the Ritz of prairie state duck sex. Maybe something to put on a license plate? Something, other than Mount Rushmore would be a nice switch. SD is for Duck Lovers?

    1. Duck Lovers has too many implications, only one of which isn’t icky. Best not stick that on your plates.

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