Obama’s Teleprompter Commits Suicide

Obama’s teleprompter, in what appears to be a clear case of suicide, leaped to it’s death during one of his speeches recently, crashing to the floor in a million tiny shards of teleprompter glass.  Obama, unfazed by the death of his prompter, kept on talking using the one on his right side.  The one he now refers to as  “loyal one.”  The White House hasn’t released an official statement yet, but staffers are saying  the prompter had been noticeably depressed ever since it’s rather public malfunction back in April.  Placed on prompter probation, the tinted piece of glass was walking on thin ice with the President, knowing that one more debacle and it was curtains.  One insider, who wishes to remain anonymous said the President was very harsh with Teleprompter and would often use the tinted piece of glass as a mirror to check his teeth or fix his collar, and on occasion sing the entire theme song to Shaft.  Staffers admitted they had no idea Prompters depression was this bad and vowed to make sure this  never happens again.  There will be a White House staff in service on “How to Tell If A White House Appliance is Going to Hurt Itself or Someone Else,” and a 24 hour Appliance Hotline.

On a related note, La Toya Jackson has stated publically she has proof Teleprompter was murdered.

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