The Chicago Tribune had an article about a Spanish toy makers new Bebe Gloton, the breastfeeding baby doll. I didn’t read the article, but I’m sure it was insightful. Anyhow, the idea is that little girls get to experience the joys and miracles of breastfeeding at age five. People definitely have their opinions about this, ranging from, what kind of insane nut job thinks this is a good idea, to, this is great, it teaches our daughters the the importance of responsible breastfeeding. Really, responsible breastfeeding for 5-8 year old girls? How about a doll that teaches my five year old the importance or responsible room neatness, or dish cleanliness? Which brings me to my point. One of the largest objections to the doll is that it’s too over the top and will lead to teen pregnancy. But I say it’s not over the top enough. I think little girls not only need the benefit of a doll that demonstrates how to properly breastfeed, but the benefit of a deadbeat dad doll that comes along with getting pregnant at 15. Yeah, they should be sold as a set. If toy makers are truly interested in selling a realistic experience for your little 8 year old who can’t wait to have a baby, then they should sell the entire experience. It would go something like this,
“Hey honey, your mom and I got you this really cool breastfeeding baby doll for your birthday. And guess what, it comes with a worthless deadbeat daddy doll too. Yeah, it’s designed to ditch you and your baby and never pay you a dime in child support.”
“But daddy the ‘worthless deadbeat daddy doll’ box is empty.”
“That’s right honey, that’s because he’s out man-whoring around with his sleazy stripper girlfriends and is way to busy for the responsibility of being in a box. But look, he left you a note.”
“It says, ‘Dear Baby Momma, Ain’t no way that baby mine. An, you lied to me when you said you was 18.’ Wow, is that how my babies daddy talks?”
“Yep honey, your baby daddy is white trash, and when I find him, I’m gonna buy the ‘Angry Out for Revenge Daddy of Pregnant Teenage Daughter Doll,’ complete with rifle and restraining order, to hunt him down and kill in the street like a dog.”
“Gee daddy, that doesn’t sound very fun. I’m not sure I want all that other stuff. Can I just have a Barbie instead?”
Another teen age pregnancy avoided just by using a little common sense and truth in toy making.