L’Oreal to help with Polar Bears

Grizzly bears have started to move into Polar bear territory.  It’s speculated this is due to global warming.  The warmer temperatures allow the grizzlies to go farther north than ever before.  Scientists and ecologists and some other people, in an effort to help the polar bear population blend with their new inhabitants are getting aid from an unusual source.  L’Oreal has offered to provide, free of charge, fur color treatments to all Polar bears selected for bear “breed” reassignment.  The cosmetic giant’s  extremely generous offer came after its Vice President of  Public Relations  read something about grizzlies and polar bears on a blog.   L’Oreal, which has always thought of itself as a champion for the environment on faces and heads, sees the proposal as a natural extension of what it has already been doing for millions of women around the world.   They have even done computer imaging mock ups of some of the possible color transformations:


After using L’Oreal’s Superior Preference Light Brown Amber

After using Feria’s Multi-Faceted Shimmering Color Black Leather

After using L’Oreal Coleur Experte French Eclair (an all over color with a harmonizing highlight color)

Notice the subtle highlighting around the nose and eyes.  Adds a really nice dimensionality to the bears already strong features.  “Softens the ferocity”  is what L’Oreals polar bear adaptivity consultants like to say.

But scientists and ecologists aren’t the only ones thrilled about the new project.  Al Gore, former Vice President, failed presidential candidate and winner of the once impressive Nobel Peace Prize, has also given his resounding approval as well.  At a recent Sierra Club dinner he had this to say about it,

” I invented the internet.”

L’Oreal is of course thrilled to have the recognition and support of the world’s greatest environmental champion.   “This is truly a monumental day for L’Oreal and polar bears everywhere,”  the companies spokesperson said upon hearing Al Gore’s comment.

There is no news on how soon the program can be implemented, but sources close to the polar bear scientists are saying just as soon as the Oscars are over L’Oreal will be sending adaptive stylists to northern Canada to start the selection and transformation process.  Celebrities have already begun asking for photo ops with the newly transformed bears.


8 thoughts on “L’Oreal to help with Polar Bears

  1. I love seeing how even a tangentially “global-warming” related story will drive up a blog’s international readership. Well done, PP, you internationalist you.

  2. Felicity Filingdale, a polar bear researcher from the Greenstreat University in the Tyrone region of Great Britain has had her laptop computer hacked and numerous emails are now posted on the internet. Two examples are particularly disturbing:

    “Percy, we must begin immediately deleting all references to the sudden and violent drop in temperatures in the lower latitudes in the colonies, forcing grizzly bears to migrate north.”

    “Percy, back with you my love, please disapprove all research suggesting that cooler temperatures in southern Canada may be the cause of grizzly bears mass migration north to warmer climates. And, Percy, the research on the arctic ice sheet increasing that we shredded, didn’t it predict cooler temperatures in south Canada? We are going to the theatre tonight still, aren’t we?”

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