Iran Plays Spy Card

In order to parody this topic in good conscience I must preface with this,  I really hope these guys don’t die.  Now then, the Iranian government has been holding three UC Berkeley hippies hostage since like July.  Initially it was because they were hiking in northern Iraq and accidentally crossed into Iran.  But now, Iran has decided they are spies and therefore must be tried and put to death.  A couple thoughts…

1) These are NOT spies…

This is a spy…

Everyone knows that UC Berkeley hippy students don’t do anything that actually helps the U.S.  If anything they were probably trying to give the Iranian government their graduate thesis work on how to turn dirt into renewable energy and got themselves arrested in the process.

2) There is a chance, albeit slim, that these guys might actually walk away from this experience thinking “Hey, the U.S. doesn’t suck as much as I thought.”  The more likely scenario is that they will see Iran as a victim, the U.S. as the enemy and voluntarily cut their own heads off.

3)  This is Northern Iraq…..

This is where Julie Andrew sang “The Sound of Music,”

Where would you want to hike?  I want to hike where the hills play music.  But that’s because I love America and am not a hippy.

In conclusion, Iran knows these guys aren’t spies.  So why are they throwing down trumped-up espionage charges?  Because they’re evil.  This should serve as a warning to other sympathetic hippies (although I doubt it will) who think that all those countries that hate us do so because the U.S. deserves it, your head is as good as any other, and if you go traipsing around their country with your head, you might just lose it.  A bit of advice, leave your head back home, since you’re obviously not using it.

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2 thoughts on “Iran Plays Spy Card

  1. Let’s see… “We believe, strongly, that there is no evidence to support any charge whatsoever.” Notice, she doesn’t say these three hikers are not spies, no way Jose, not even remotely spies at all. Noooooo, she says, “there is no evidence.” So, they could be spies, though as you so rightly point out, they resemble real spies about as much as the the Metro Goldwin Mayer lion resembles Calvin Coollidge, but still just because the Secretary of State “believes strongly” (not weakly) that there is “no evidence” doesn’t mean that they aren’t spies. So, there could be evidence, but she doesn’t believe in the evidence.

    I think they’re spies.

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