Welcoming Women Drivers into the Kingdom

A senior Saudi prince is questioning the Kingdom’s thousand year old rule that bans women from driving cars… that started as a ban on women driving camels and just evolved really… into its present form.  Not everyone is thrilled of course.  Clerics and imams and other guardians of female virtue are trying to be respectful of the prince’s revolutionary idea, but have a list of demands if he’s really considering offending allah.  Such as,

1. Beating her while she drives

2. Only driving between the hours of 1:45am-1:48am, and she gets beaten

3. Bag over her head to protect the virtue of her retina

4. Instant honor killing if she cuts off man or for any reason to be determined at a later date if we remember to get around to it… we’re kind of busy

5. Car must be rigged to explode if she honks horn

6. Instant honor killing if she causes a crash with another vehicle a man is driving… regardless of how dead she may be

7. Beating her for asking directions

8. Beating her for being right about directions

But the prince’s real objective is to get rid of the damn foreigners (his words), about 750,000, that have been imported to tote all these women around.  He’s  just being economical, it’s cheaper to have women drive their own cars.  The clerics argue however, that women driving will lead men to lust after them resulting in more women needing killing.  Citing as proof of their claim, Here I Go Again video by White Snake with Jessica Hahn all over a couple of Jaguars.

The video caused such a problem for young Saudi men in the late 80’s the clerics repeatedly tried, unsuccessfully, to behead Ms. Hahn.

The prince has assured the religious leaders they will still be able to beat their women for the usual stuff, and there may be some wiggle room on the list of demands.  The prince said he liked the horn idea and his crappy sense of direction has always been a source of embarrassment with his wives.  He really hates being wrong.

It will be interesting seeing how an otherwise completely homogeneous group of drivers, all male, with an astronomically high auto accident fatality rate as it is,  will fare with the introduction of women into the driving pool.  It has worked exceeding well in the U.S. where women are among the safest drivers (google it)… except in the cases where they are trying to drive and shave their bikini area.


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