Exotic Vacation Destination #4: North Korea

That’s right.  North Korea is open for tourism, on a very limited trial basis of course.  But think of the fun if you happen to be one of the lucky ones who gets to go and return, not having been tortured or jailed.  Now I know what everyone is thinking.  What’s there to see in North Korea?  Well total darkness for one thing!  If Paris is the City of Lights, then Pyongyang is the City of No Lights! Well technically speaking Pyongyang is the only city with lights but the rest of the country is pitch black!

Heck yeah that’s cool!  Ignore the bottom half, it’s South Korea.  That’s just another boring country with running water and electricity available all the time.  A thousand places on the planet have that. Yawn.

And for those of who want to take in a show.  There’s the crazy new theatrical hit, Kim Jong Il’s Babes in Warland Review!

The New York Times calls it,  “just the kind of good old fashion diplomacy the world needs.” Chicago Sun Times says it’s, “Kim Jong Ilicious!”

If your one of those history junkies whose into neo-narcissitic monuments to failed ideologies there’s always a visit to this thing.

Yeah nothing says, “Happy fun time” like a hammer, a crow bar, and a paint-by-numbers brush.  Notice, no lines.  You are sure to be the first one in and out.  Disney World can’t guarantee that.  Heck, it’s a 45 minute wait just to get into the Archives in D.C.  45 minutes to see a bunch of old paper!  But you get all this with no wait. Free tap water for the kiddies even. Yum.

Finally, in case you’re thinking, “How will I get around?” or  “I’m not familiar with mass transit in North Korea.”  Never fear.  You can ride on the completely renovated, fully modernized, horse drawn subway system.

Complete with chandeliers and lightbulbs.  See how pretty that is.  Don’t those 17 people look happy to be taking full advantage of a government run transit system?  Keep in mind, the subway only runs four days a week, three hours a day.  The hours aren’t consecutive either.  Also, there’s no schedule for service so just be prepared to never go anywhere ever.  That way you won’t be disappointed, just like the North Koreans.  They learned to give up hope a long time ago, and you will too.